The Wisdom of Mrs Collins
by JLouiseCaonach
Summary: After Mr. Darcy's disastrous proposal, and before Mr. Darcy's letter, Elizabeth gets her own Hunsford moment, courtesy of Mrs. Collins.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic. It is unbeta-ed so please be gentle with me.**

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_You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.'_

_And with these words he hastily left the room, and Elizabeth heard him the next moment open the front door and quit the house. The tumult of her mind was now painfully great…_

_-Pride and Prejudice, c__hapter XXXIV_

Returning to the parsonage to check on her friend, Charlotte Collins had heard the entirety of Mr. Darcy's disastrous proposal as well as Elizabeth Bennet's reaction to it. In her opinion, it was equally disastrous. _Eliza truly had no idea how Mr. Darcy always admired her. It was as if she were deliberately obtuse when it came to the man._ Charlotte was in full belief Mr. Darcy was the only man who could make her friend happy. Was there any way to savage this unfortunate event?

Charlotte entered the sitting room, surprising Elizabeth. She did not expect her for some time. Feeling how unequal she was to encounter Charlotte's observation, she hurried to her room. Charlotte could not, in good conscience, ignore what she had heard. Following closely, she stopped the door before Elizabeth could close and lock it.

"Charlotte, I'm sorry. I'm afraid my headache is quite worse. I would like to retire for the night, if you do not mind." The pleading tone in Elizabeth's voice was unfamiliar to Charlotte. She felt for her friend but knew she could not allow herself to be dismissed before discussing what occurred.

Deciding boldness was the best course of action, Charlotte did not disguise her intent. "I imagine Mr. Darcy has quite the headache right now as well." Seeing the agony and confusion in Elizabeth's eyes, Charlotte sat on the bed and embraced her friend. Feeling Elizabeth start to pull away, she said gently, "I heard everything. Oh, Eliza, you must be very distressed. You will feel better if you talk about it. You know you will not be able to calm or rest until you do."

Charlotte listened as Elizabeth told her of all she overheard from her own perspective. She also told of her morning walks with Mr. Darcy and the revelation Colonel Fitzwilliam made regarding Mr. Darcy's interference with Jane and Mr. Bingley. Charlotte could offer no consolation. Instead of calming, Elizabeth became more and more agitated. Even though her target was no longer in front of her, the viciousness Elizabeth directed toward Mr. Darcy was alarming in its intensity.

Mr. Darcy was very wrong in his addresses but upon his retreat from the parsonage Charlotte noted he looked utterly defeated – mortified, confused, and sad. Sympathy stirred in her. She was not sure he deserved the ire Elizabeth held for him. Charlotte's attempts to advocate a more tempered perspective went unheeded. Mr. Darcy's villainy was attaining mythic proportion in Elizabeth's mind. The narrative would allow for no fault in any but Mr. Darcy. She knew Elizabeth's fury would consume her if left unchecked.

After numerous repetitions of Mr. Darcy's seemingly cavalier attitude in regard to the destruction of Jane's happiness, Charlotte decide to only way to progress the conversation was to shock her into responding, using an unexpected truth. "Oh, Eliza, how hypocritical you are." At this, Elizabeth started. Preparing to defend herself, Elizabeth was ordering her thoughts when Charlotte continued.

"Did you not attempt to dissuade me from marrying Mr. Collins? Could that, too, not be seen as meddlesome interference by a friend? Had I not married, and lived as a spinster as I expected, I would have remained at home, a burden to my family, or found an occupation. Would it be fair of me to lay any misery I might have experienced in such circumstances on your head rather than my own? By your understanding I would be quite justified in hating you as would my family. The responsibility of my situation would be yours rather than my own."

"I would not say the situations are the same," countered Elizabeth, contemplating what Charlotte just said, unwilling to hear the truth in her words.

Charlotte closed her eyes and sighed, "You are more like Mr. Darcy than you care to admit. He was concerned for his friend and spoke to what he believed to be Mr. Bingley's best interests. Just as you did to me. However, I remained resolute as I chose the path to determine my own happiness."

As Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, Charlotte cut her off. "Yes, happiness, I do not love Mr. Collins but we are comfortable together and my situation is agreeable. I can even say I'm rather fond of my husband. I _am_ happy. And Mr. Bingley, who, if you are correct, had the added inducement of love, chose his own path as well. In allowing himself to be persuaded against his love, the fault is his not his friend's. You must understand that. If not, I shall be forced to think you simple. And we both know you are not. But if you continue to lay blame as such, you absolve a great many people of the responsibility of their own actions."

"No, it's just that Mr. Darcy…he shouldn't have… "

"No, perhaps he shouldn't have but nor should you. What's worse, you still have not accepted my choice. You do not disguise your disdain, or your pity, as well as you might think. I do not require your pity, Eliza. In truth, that is more hurtful than the sport or mirth you continue to find in my situation."

"Oh Charlotte, I am so sorry. I never conceived that I could make you feel this way." Now knowing the disservice she had done to one of her dearest friends, Elizabeth had never felt so wretched.

"It is not just Mr. Darcy that holds such sway over his friends." Summoning her courage to continue with the difficult conversation about Mr. Darcy, Charlotte continued.

"Mr. Darcy's words may have had more influence on Mr. Bingley because they are grounded in truth." At this, Elizabeth gasped, ready to defend her sister. "No, let me finish. In Jane's defense, you say she is shy and not prone to show her emotions. Yet, you also believe her feelings for Mr. Bingley to be obvious, but you are viewing Jane as your dear sister who you have known for two decades. Does that not grant you more sensitivity to her feelings than gentlemen who have known her for two months? Again, Mr. Bingley, being more in her company than Mr. Darcy, should have, perhaps, would have, shown greater discernment if there was actually something for him to discern. "

"But to believe Jane of being mercenary, to accept Mr. Bingley because my mother…is in every way unfathomable," Elizabeth cried.

"Have you ever had a conversation with Mr. Darcy about your and Jane's desire to marry only for love?" Charlotte asked.

"Of course not, Charlotte. To do so would be most inappropriate."

"In Mr. Darcy's society, indeed, in our society as well, marriages are often the result of situation and convenience, a series of marks and tallies in ledger, if you will. Objectively, the marks in Mr. Bingley's favor were myriad – handsome, amiable, wealthy, residing close to Longbourn, _and_ showing interest in dear Jane. Your mother was rather vocal in her adoration of his circumstances. That she did not swoon in delight is rather singular, wouldn't you say?" Charlotte laughed softly. At this, Elizabeth blushed a deep red in acknowledgement of the truth of this statement.

"Would Jane have been able to hold firm against your mother if she didn't feel herself in love with Mr. Bingley? You expressed your concern that Jane would have accepted Mr. Collins in order to do her duty to your family. Would she not have felt that same duty if Mr. Bingley were to offer for her? Even if she felt no love for him, Mr. Bingley would be a very desirable husband...But now perhaps he is made less so if he is as easily led as you believe. Is that the man you wish Jane to be tied to in marriage?

After several minutes of deep thought, Elizabeth could not contradict Charlotte's words. With this, her stance against Mr. Darcy's involvement in Jane and Mr. Bingley's relationship softened. Charlotte turned her attention to other aspects Mr. Darcy's proposal.

"Now that you have cause to rethink Mr. Darcy's motivations for separating Jane and Mr. Bingley should you not rethink the other charges you brought against him?

"I cannot see why that should be so. The other charges are wholly unrelated," Elizabeth cried, clinging to her dislike of Mr. Darcy as fervently as Miss Bingley clinging to Mr. Darcy's arm.

"Mr. Darcy's proposal was magnificent in its failure. However, until his proposal, in what way was Mr. Darcy rude, arrogant, or conceited. How did he show his selfish disdain for the feelings of others?"

Surprised at this question, Elizabeth exclaimed, "Why, on almost every meeting, in every interaction – you cannot doubt that."

"That doesn't answer my question, Eliza. I also ask you to examine your own behavior? Can you say without a doubt that you never exhibited any of the conduct of which you have accused him? What of the behavior of your family?"

At this, Elizabeth anger flared and she began pacing. Loath to explore her memories of all she knew of Mr. Darcy, she took Charlotte's challenge as a betrayal. "I am not having this conversation, Charlotte. Haven't I had to endure enough today?"

"Proposed to by an intelligent, honorable, and handsome man. Informed of his ardent love and admiration. Yes, you have endured much suffering today." Charlotte's voice was harsh.

"Elizabeth's eyes whipped to her friend's face. "Charlotte, you heard everything he said to me. How can you may light of this?"

"Yes, I heard everything he said to you today. And I heard everything you said, too. You will also remember that I was present for many of your meetings in company, both in Meryton as well as at Rosings. You have shared with me your conversations at Netherfield. Even only hearing your perspective, I fear I cannot always favor you in the interactions as you related them. Eliza, you are very proud of your dislike of Mr. Darcy and I think that hinders your ability to see the situation as it truly is.

"Think of this, Mr. Darcy is not the sort to enter into conversation against his wishes. Nor would he do so to toy with his conversational partners. At Rosings, he was seeking conversation with you in all sincerity. It sounds as though he did at Netherfield as well. You challenged and provoked him when he was doing the very thing you dared him to when you were at the pianoforte with Colonel Fitzwilliam…practice. Yet everything he said you twisted and flung back at him. He is so in love with you that he found it charming rather than rude. Because make no mistake about it, Eliza, you were rude. Can you honestly say your manners were any better than Mr. Darcy's throughout your acquaintance?"

"So clearheaded as always, Charlotte. You speak of love. You are to be commended for your understanding. It must be nice to be so well-versed on something you know so little of." Elizabeth snapped.

"That's not fair, Elizabeth, and you know it." Charlotte never called Elizabeth by her full name. It was a sign of how much she was hurt by what Elizabeth said. Resigned, she made an effort to do as Charlotte asked and explain how Mr. Darcy's manners, or lack thereof, were on display. She blurted out the many crimes she believed Mr. Darcy perpetrated against the Bennets and the populace of Meryton.

"He insulted me. He refused to dance. He's taciturn and stoic and doesn't talk. He stares at me, trying to find fault. He stalks the borders of the room or looks out the windows rather than conversing with others. He's contrary and difficult and so serious when he does speak. You've seen the disdain he feels toward my family. He behaved abominably to Mr. Wickham. When you add to that how he separated Jane and—" Charlotte held up her hand and shook her head as if to say enough of Jane and Mr. Bingley.

"I cannot excuse or explain his insult to you. Nor shall I try. However, was it necessary for you inform everyone of that insult? He might have overcome the first impression he made upon us at the assembly if it were not for his comment being spread far and wide. The unjustness of his comment inspired greater dislike in the community simply for the slight they felt to one of their own. And you let it color every subsequent meeting with him. Have you never made an ill-conceived comment? Have you never said something hurtful toward another person?" Charlotte's look was pointed.

"I saw no need to spare him the community's disapprobation. He had muddled it up on his own well enough." Elizabeth was chagrined to note how petulant she sounded.

"And why do you think that occurred? Could he have been nervous? Or maybe he was resigned to yet another evening of talk about his status or wealth? Perhaps, he would have been willing to leave such things at the door. He was unknown here. Perhaps he was looking forward to not being _Mr. Darcy of Pemberley_. Yet, he walks in the door and news of his position in society and income rippled through the crowd before he made his way to the first introduction. That places him on his guard.

"I think the looking out of windows, and walking the room are ways for him to protect himself. You have your protections, he has his. It's unfortunate that his make him seem so unsociable. But then, not everybody finds comfort or enjoyment in the stinging wit you use to protect yourself. But we love you and we understand it. What would foreign company make of your propensity to laugh at yourself and the folly of others?"

Elizabeth was alarmed and dismayed. A conversation which she expected to garner sympathy for herself, her poor treatment by Mr. Darcy, and his vile proposal had turned into a defense of Mr. Darcy and an examination of her own perceived failings. _Oh, how could Charlotte be so cruel!_ She truly was cold and unfeeling, Elizabeth thought uncharitably.

"Mr. Darcy is a very serious young man. He does not wear his feelings close to the surface. In this he is very much like Jane. He is quiet, and he doesn't talk much. In this he is very much like Mary. He prefers books and doesn't care to dance. In this he is very much like your father. Your father couldn't even be bothered to leave his book room to attend the assembly. When he is in company, he retires to the card room or watches the company for opportunities to laugh and make sport of his neighbors. Is looking out of windows really a more objectionable behavior? It seems the characteristics you accept in your own family are unpardonable in Mr. Darcy."

Elizabeth had never thought of Mr. Darcy being at all similar to those she loved. On reflection she could see the validity of what was said. "I will concede that you may have a point. Regardless, he still judges my mother and younger sisters harshly. Do you pretend that he does not look down upon your own husband?"

"Hmm, do you not do the same?" Charlotte was unwilling to relent. "Your mother and younger sisters are lively, crude, silly, prone to gossip, and, I am sorry to say, vacuous. You cannot deny it. I know we tend to think it is within our rights to notice the follies and failings of our relations all the while resenting those outside the family circle who make note of the same. While our own perspectives are tempered with love and understanding, one cannot ignore the reality of what others see. We are so used to our unvaried society that we fail to acknowledge that there may be something wanting in our relations that may give pause to others. Should we expect others not to react?

"Mr. Bingley and the Colonel have both commented that Mr. Darcy is more agreeable in intimate company or among close friends and family. Yet you deny this to be true, discounting those closest to him, and judging Mr. Darcy as you believe he does your family."

Uncertainty was taking hold of Elizabeth, "I suppose that could be true. How do you account for Mr. Wickham, though?"

"Perhaps, the better question is how do _you_ account for Mr. Wickham, Eliza?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is not his story all too convenient? I said before Mr. Darcy is an honorable man. You did not contradict this sentiment. Do you believe Mr. Darcy to be honorable?"

"I suppose I do, or rather, I did, before Mr.-"

"Before Mr. Wickham," Charlotte finished for her. "What do you know of Mr. Wickham or his claims other than what he told you? Did you ask Mr. Darcy or Mr. Bingley about Mr. Wickham? If somebody told tales about you, would you not wish for the recipient to verify the information?"

"But, Charlotte, he would have just told the story as he wanted it to be known."

Charlotte lowered her head onto her palm. _Oh, Eliza, how can you be so oblivious as to make allowances for one yet vilify the other for the same action_, she thought. "That's true. Without direct knowledge we have no way of knowing the whole story. Perhaps, you so should look at Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham's estrangement like a debate. You do like a good debate. And a debate requires looking at more than one side of the argument. In doing so, do you not breakdown your opponent's argument, use logic and not emotion to make your point, ask incisive questions, and such? Did you do that?"

Surprising herself with a brief laugh, Elizabeth admitted she had not. Was she really that foolish? She was beginning to think she was, indeed, foolish. Very, very foolish. "Charlotte, you have caught me out. I was not that thoughtful when accepting Mr. Wickham's tale. And accept it I did. I welcomed it, in fact."

"Then let us consider it now. We can ask Colonel Fitzwilliam to confirm the particulars if need be." _Dear God, was she actually getting somewhere, finally? My Eliza, at times you require more handling than Mr. Collins_, Charlotte thought with amusement.

The night was growing late. Mr. Collins and Maria had already retired as had the staff. As Elizabeth thought on Mr. Wickham's tale, Charlotte went to her room to ready herself for bed, donning her night shift and dressing gown. As she made quick work of her own nightly preparations, Elizabeth had quite some time think as Charlotte had also gone downstairs to prepare tea and a tray with biscuits and cakes. It gave the continuation of their conversation an intimate feel of sharing confidences they hadn't experienced since they were much younger.

When Charlotte returned she saw that Elizabeth had a determined expression on her face. She was ready to view Mr. Wickham's story with a more critical eye. That, in and of itself, was a good sign. Hopefully she would not be too disappointed with what Charlotte was convinced would be the outcome.

Charlotte felt, in this case, it was best to let Elizabeth take the lead. She would ask a few questions to direct the conversation but, in the end, it was necessary for Elizabeth to come to her own conclusions with little prompting. Elizabeth did not disappoint her. Her time alone seemed to have been very productive.

"Oh, my goodness, Charlotte. I am beginning to believe my powers of discernment are no greater than Lydia's. A handsome face, a uniform, and a little attention and I fear I was willing to believe anything the man cared to impart to me. Had he told me he wasn't a mere lieutenant in the militia but rather a spy for the British government, surveilling Meryton and its visitors for evidence of treasonous activities placing them in cahoots with the French - I would have believed him."

"Now, I know Mr. Wickham was very persuasive but I don't believe we need to go quite that far," laughed Charlotte. It felt good to laugh. The tension of the last hours was exhausting and oppressive.

"It's too embarrassing to realize how close to the mark my statement is. As long as it implicated Mr. Darcy, I would have been inclined to believe almost anything. I _wanted_ to hear something bad about him." This acknowledgement stripped Elizabeth of much of her anger on Mr. Wickham's behalf. That wretched feeling of unease in her stomach began to grow.

"Remember, Eliza, we want to be logical and fair in our examination of Mr. Wickham's story. Tell me what question and concerns you now hold." Charlotte's calm demeanor, which she so lately criticized, brought Elizabeth back to herself. She looked at her friend with fondness.

"Charlotte, I fear you are being too kind to me and you already have seen what I should have so long ago." Charlotte raised an eyebrow and gave an almost imperceptible nod, acknowledging the compliment and encouraging Elizabeth to continue. "I had known Mr. Wickham such a short time when he shared his story. Is 'know' even the correct word? Perhaps it's more accurate to say I made his acquaintance only a short time before he told his tale of woe. And I encouraged him to do so. I told him I disliked Mr. Darcy and that he was not well liked in Hertfordshire and everyone was disgusted by his pride. It was fertile ground for Mr. Wickham to plant the seed of the story of Mr. Darcy's infamous conduct. He could not have found a more hospitable climate in all of England.

Tears of self-reproach began to form in Elizabeth's eyes. Taking a deep breath, she went on, "I didn't question anything. The fact that I can now come up with questions so easily is rather disturbing. Mr. Darcy's father provided him with university education, but did Mr. Wickham prepare to take orders? Was he ordained? If Mr. Darcy denied the living to him could he not have pursued another living elsewhere? While denial of the living would be upsetting, is it not but a temporary inconvenience? He could still have made the church his vocation if he was so inclined."

Not wanting to stop Elizabeth now that she got started Charlotte only nodded and sipped her tea. "Mr. Wickham is, perhaps, eight or nine and twenty. At that late age why did he buy a commission in the militia? What has he done with his life since university? There was no guarantee the living he was destined for would be presented in a timely fashion. Did he not take measures to make his way in the world until it was available?

"And what of his many contradictions? He said he would not let Mr. Darcy's presence keep him from attending the Netherfield ball, yet he volunteered for duty to avoid him. He said he could not speak ill of Mr. Darcy while remembering his father so fondly. He only waited until the Netherfield party departed before he voiced his disgraceful claims to the community. In these actions, Mr. Wickham has revealed himself to be a coward, regardless of the truth of his relationship with Mr. Darcy. He and I are alike in that respect. We didn't give Mr. Darcy any opportunity to defend himself."

At this point Charlotte became concerned for her friend. Her faced was flushed and her breathing erratic. She forced a cup of tea into Elizabeth's hand only for her to take a great gulp and let out a hiccuping cough. Tears began running down her face without cease. Still the words spewed forth unabated.

"I have not even mentioned Mary King. When he transferred his attentions to her I was so sanguine, so I believed. I wanted to think he preferred me, but he was forced, by the poverty inflicted upon him by Mr. Darcy, to marry against his inclination. He must marry with consideration to situation. Handsome young men need something to live on, do they not? I was quite proud of myself for seeing how practical he was being. I didn't not grant you the same courtesy of understanding your acceptance of Mr. Collins. Can you ever forgive me, Charlotte?"

Elizabeth did not wait for an answer. "He was just so…so mercenary. I see it now. And I excused it with nary a thought. I am glad Mr. Darcy was not around to witness it. If I was so accepting of Mr. Wickham's intent to marry for a large fortune, there would be little to be done to convince him that Jane and I were not mercenary as well. Do my actions not support what he believed to be true about Jane."

In effort to let Elizabeth to regain control of herself, Charlotte took the conversation in hand. "It seems you have come to a much greater understanding since we began, of both yourself and Mr. Darcy. Do you still find his comments about your family and connections to be without reason? I do not mean to cause you pain, I know the Gardiners are very dear to you. But Mr. Darcy is a man who, I believe, is suspicious of society on many levels. We now believe his childhood friend spread stories about him, Miss Bingley offers false flattery in attempt to curry his favor, and his own aunt is seeking her own benefit as she tries to marry Mr. Darcy off to her daughter. That is just what we know of in our brief acquaintance with the man.

"I think he feels ill-used by society at large. There are many who desire the advantages his approbation can bring without thinking of the man himself. In protecting himself, I don't think he allows many to get close to him beside is cousin or Mr. Bingley. I think he feels alone. I'm convinced he desperately wants _not_ to feel alone.

"He thought he found a partner in you. You do not flatter or simper. You are intelligent, and you challenge him. You are warm and open. You appreciate character, and integrity, and honesty. Though misguided, he thought you would accept his proposal because, almost without fail, everybody wants what he can offer them. He thought you, in turn, would appreciate _his_ honesty.

"He is not wrong in what he said about your family, just how he said it. Or rather that he said it at all. But it is the reality of the situation. Mr. Darcy's choice of wife will be scrutinized to an extent that you and I cannot now imagine. He wanted you to know that he had already thought of the objections you might encounter. He was telling you he was prepared to stand with you, to fight for you if necessary. What a thing it must be to be so cherished!

"I know you do not regret refusing him, but I think you regret how vehemently you did so. I do not wish to absolve Mr. Darcy of all the faults you have encountered in your relationship. I agree, there is much he needs examine in his behavior and manner of address. The anger you may still feel and viciousness you directed toward Mr. Darcy cannot serve you well. He loves you, most passionately, I believe. You now hold a great deal of power over him. Despite what you said, I don't think his disappointment over your refusal will be of quick duration. Please, _please_, think on what has happened today and how you will act in the future."

"Oh, Charlotte, I am so ashamed of how I behaved. What is to be done now?"


	2. Chapter 2

After hours of conversation, Elizabeth attempted to sleep. Charlotte insisted everything be addressed before retiring for the evening, now, early morning. Rolling the night before over and over in her mind, she finally fell into a fitful sleep just after dawn. Hours of reflection and self-recrimination left her feeling hollow

Charlotte, herself, had much to consider. She was convinced that Lizzy was her own worst enemy. She so wished for her friend to find happiness. She would do what she could to ensure that would happen.

Darcy was waiting in the grove for some time hoping he would meet Elizabeth. And he dearly hoped she would read his letter. Never had he experienced a more tumultuous night. Finally, he spied a flash of color through the trees. Somebody was following the path that would eventually curve toward him.

"Miss Bennet, I've been waiting to - oh, pardon me, Mrs. Collins. I was not expecting to see you this morning."

"I believe you were expecting Eliza, were you not? As you know, she had a headache yesterday evening. It became markedly worse as the evening progressed. I imagine you are feeling the effects of a headache as well." Charlotte stated with a pointed glance at Mr. Darcy.

Flushing furiously, Darcy tucked the letter into his pocket quickly, "I…she…do you—"

Cutting him off, Charlotte spoke gently, "Mr. Darcy, I believe we need to have a conversation. I will speak as plainly as I can, and I hope you will not take offense. If the situation between Eliza and you is to come to a more satisfactory resolution, it must be so."

Mr. Darcy was shocked at her words. _She knew!_ The embarrassment he felt warred with anger that Miss Bennet shared this most personal encounter with another. However, Miss Elizabeth Bennet's closest friend believed there could be a "more satisfactory resolution." He knew he must hear her out. "Mrs. Collins, may I assume that you know of the meeting I had with Miss Bennet?" At her nod, he continued. "Then, please, do not demure on my account. Speak as you find. I do not think I can bear any more misunderstandings."

While he was not one to share his most private thoughts, he knew he could trust Mrs. Collins. She had a kind and gentle way about her. Her discretion and even temper seemed boundless based on what he witnessed of her in company with Mr. Collins and his aunt.

"Very well. I should note, Eliza did not tell me of your proposal and her rejection of your suit. I returned to the parsonage to check on Eliza and heard it in its entirety." At Darcy's almost imperceptible groan, she rushed on, "Mr. Darcy, please let me reassure you, given the situation, if I had to learn of it, it is best to hear it with my own ears than from the parties involved. Hopefully, I can offer a perspective with a clearer head without all the attached emotions. I truly do want to help both of you. That said, Dear God! What were you thinking!"

Darcy sat down hard on the ground, as if he could no longer support his own weight. Charlotte joined him. "I do not know. I was sure I knew what I was about, that I knew what Miss Elizabeth feelings were, only to find I know nothing. It has made me question everything about myself…I wished to be honest, for Miss Elizabeth to know I valued her so highly I was willing to overcome the obvious obstacles and make compromises to be with her. I wanted to be honest with her." He rambled. "I thought she, in turn, would value that. I was so blind to so many things. She truly despises me."

"Mr. Darcy, I do not think she has ever despised you. But are you truly unaware the obstacles of which you speak, you have erected in your own path?" Seeing his dismay, Charlotte softened her voice, "You insulted her looks, you were not friendly with the neighborhood and felt yourself above all, and you hold her family in disdain. You played a role in Mr. Bingley's absence from Netherfield. And she has accused you of infamous behavior against Mr. Wickham. Is that a fair assessment of the facts?"

At his acknowledgement, she spoke quickly. "I am at a loss of where to start but start we shall. I have a sense that Mrs. Bennet is your greatest obstacle. You see her as mercenary and silly." It was a statement not a question.

"I confess, I do find Mrs. Bennet to be so. In my defense, my opinions are based on her own actions. Her behavior was unmistakable as were her words." Mr. Darcy replied almost unwillingly, as if afraid to be berated once again.

"I can freely admit the Mrs. Bennet is a most silly woman, at times. However, mercenary she is not. Mrs. Bennet wishes her daughters to form excellent marriages, that is true. How is that so very different from anyone else? I do not have children, but I feel confident in stating I want them to make advantageous marriages. I would be overjoyed if any future daughters made matches with gentlemen of four thousand a year. Am I, too, mercenary? Does that mean I will not love my children or wish them to be happy in their marriages as well?

"To disparage Mrs. Bennet for seeking rich men for her daughters is a bit unfair. Granted, my society is limited but surely you see how the first circles and their quest to marry well is no different. In fact, I think it is much worse. You wish for marriage partners with fortune and connections for your sister or yourself, yes? Then, are you not mercenary as well? Is not Lady Catherine the same? Joining two vast estates and fortunes to attain a combined wealth that is very nearly unfathomable, and quite frankly unnecessary, with no regard for affection, is nothing but unchecked avarice. You desire these things in order to preserve name and rank, to elevate your position and fill your coffers that are already overflowing. Yet, this is expected, and accepted." Mr. Darcy was shocked at being called out so, but he could not deny the righteousness of Mrs. Collins' claim.

"And, though delightful, Colonel Fitzwilliam seems a most determined fortune hunter. Perhaps, more so than any I have ever met, other than Miss Bingley. He speaks openly of the need to marry an heiress. Yet, he is the second son of an earl. He gets an allowance. He has an occupation and is compensated relatively well. If he does not marry a woman who brings wealth to their union, what would become of him? He would live in a smaller home than his father, brother, or his cousin. His wine cellar would not have the finest vintages. He would not be the envy of all for the horseflesh in his stable. His sons would seek a profession rather than be landowners. By marrying fortune and connection, he can maintain a lifestyle of privilege and luxury. If he does not, he will still want for nothing."

Charlotte's voice was more heated than she intended. While she truly did think that Colonel Fitzwilliam was a delightful man, something in her bristled at his nonchalant attitude towards marrying for money.

"How is that more noble than a gentlewoman of limited means who also needs to marry to maintain a certain lifestyle. A lifestyle that ensures a roof over her head, food on the table, and clothes on her back. Our options for making our way in this life center on marriage. If we do not marry well our occupations are few. I may be a governess, a shop girl, or a companion. Each of these have their own dangers, compromising our respectability or, in some cases, our very safety." Charlotte felt a bit of triumph, as she could see by Mr. Darcy's expression, her point was made.

"Mrs. Bennet wants to see her daughters well-situated so they will not be forced to go into service or rely on the kindness of relatives. The situation of Longbourn, its two thousand a year, is what she aspires to for her daughters. A bit more certainly would not hurt. And, yes, she wishes for her own security as well, but can you really think unkindly of her for that? You think in terms of superiority; Mrs. Bennet thinks in terms of survival. There is a distinction between luxury and comfort."

After this long speech, Charlotte took a deep breath to steady herself. What she left unsaid, was that a gentlewoman of limited means may also find herself married to a decent but ridiculous man in order to secure a life a relative comfort. As she thought this, she felt the gaze of Mr. Darcy upon her. As if reading her mind, his countenance changed to one of understanding and compassion.

"You speak very persuasively on the subject. You are correct, I cannot think unkindly of Mrs. Bennet when I consider what you have said. I am embarrassed to admit I have made allowances for those of my own sphere. I never saw the circumstances in the same light. Perhaps, I would not allow myself to do so. However, looking at the situation from your perspective, from Miss Elizabeth's perspective, we must seem quite the greedy and grasping lot." _My own sphere_,_ how patronizing and supercilious I must sound just uttering those three words._ It was a most unpleasant realization.

He had to ask, "Do you believe Mrs. Bennet would insist her daughters marry where there is no feeling if the gentlemen had ample means to support a family?" He knew Bingley's happiness may depend on this answer.

Charlotte let a small smile grace her lips. "Mr. Darcy, you have ample means to support a family. Have you found yourself a sought-after prize by Mrs. Bennet or any of the other matrons of Meryton?"

Yes, I see your point." Mr. Darcy also saw the humor in the question asked. He had quite misjudged Mrs. Bennet. Elizabeth had already informed him of his misjudgment of Miss Bennet but he was beginning to feel it all the more. "Miss Bennet is not one to let her feelings show, is she?"

"Jane is much like you in that respect. No, she does not let her feelings show but that does not mean she does not feel deeply." Mr. Darcy was struck by the accuracy of Mrs. Collins' statement. He had done Miss Bennet, and Bingley a great disservice.

"Mrs. Collins, you must know that I did not seek to separate Miss Bennet from Bingley for malicious reasons. I believed, given Mrs. Bennet's obvious desire to pair the two, along with Bingley's income and Miss Bennet's appearance of disinterest, an alliance between them would be most unfortunate. I sought to protect them both, though my main concern was my friend. Bingley is a kind soul; an unequal alliance would eventually destroy him." Darcy implored Charlotte to believe him.

"Mr. Darcy, you need not seek understanding from me. If there is blame to be had it must be placed on those parties directly involved. Mr. Bingley need not be so reliant on his friends and, I suspect, his sisters, when it comes to matters of _his_ heart. _He_ was more in company with Jane than you were. _He_ allowed himself to be persuaded. The responsibility must lie with _him_."

"But Bingley is too modest; he does rely on my opinion on all manner of things." Darcy objected.

"Mr. Darcy, does Mr. Bingley seek your opinion on everything? Are you his friend or his keeper? No, the consequences of his actions must be placed at his own feet. We all seek advice from friends, from family, from those with greater experience or knowledge but, ultimately, the decision rests with the individual. I must say, kind soul he may be, being so easily persuaded does not reflect well on Mr. Bingley."

"I thank you for trying to lessen my role in separating Miss Bennet from Bingley, but I vow I shall do what I can to rectify the matter. I will be honest with Bingley and he may proceed as he sees fit. If that means he renews his pursuit of Miss Bennet I will rejoice in the possibility that he may find happiness with her. And I hope he will forgive me my interference."

"That is my hope as well, Mr. Darcy. It is all anyone can ask." Charlotte was certain that Elizabeth would be pleased at this turn of events. She and Mr. Darcy spent several moments in companionable silence. Both were exhausted from their sleepless nights but knew they should continue.

"Mr. Darcy, I am sure you have realized that Elizabeth and I do not always agree. That is the case regarding Mr. Bingley. It is also the case regarding Mr. Wickham. Much of what I know of your relationship with Mr. Wickham is from Elizabeth. Elizabeth's source of information is that gentleman himself. I believe he worked upon her, leveraging her aversion toward you. I believe he told her all manner of falsehoods."

Mention of Wickham gave Darcy renewed energy. "Mrs. Collins you are shrewd in your beliefs, but Wickham does not rely on simple untruths rather he is quite gifted in lying by omission and manipulating a story for his own purposes. Much more effective that way, there is always the ring of truth."

"Would you care to tell me your side of the story? If you do not find it too intrusive, perhaps you could tell me your history with Mr. Wickham rather than attempting to defend any specific accusation." Darcy understood Mrs. Collins' reason for asking this of him, thus he began his account of how he and Wickham grew up together at Pemberley and their subsequent years, finishing with the incident at Ramsgate the previous summer.

"I have written this in a letter I hoped to give Miss Elizabeth this morning. It is humbling that she could so easily believe me so dishonorable." Darcy finished. "I hoped to acquit myself of the accusations she leveled against me concerning Wickham. It is the one aspect of this nightmare that I can truly find no blame in myself. However, I do regret I remained silent in order to protect my sister."

Charlotte was sympathetic. "Do you recall as we began our conversation, I mentioned the obstacles you placed in your own path? I believe this is one of those. After your insult at the assembly, your arguments at Netherfield, and your rather proud behavior while in company, she was looking for an excuse to dislike you."

Not sure that he wanted to know the answer, "Why should Miss Elizabeth wish to dislike me?"

_Men_, Charlotte thought, "If she did not like you or seek your favor then it would not hurt so much if you did not like her." The look on his face suggested Mr. Darcy was not quite there yet. "Elizabeth believes you look at her only to find fault, that _you_ do not like _her_. She was protecting herself…" Still nothing. "She was protecting her heart. I do not believe I am betraying her confidence as I am sure she has not admitted such to herself."

At last, Darcy understood what Charlotte was trying to tell him. In the span of a moment he knew the utter joy, _Elizabeth was protecting her heart; her_ _heart was engaged_, as well as agony, _I have ruined everything_. Still, there was hope, was there not?

Charlotte saw the hope on his face. "Mr. Darcy, please know, I am not speaking for Elizabeth. Nor does she know I am speaking with you. She is not unaffected by you. And I believe she would regret it deeply if you parted ways with things as things are now."

"We are to leave this very day, in just a few hours. I cannot delay our departure for London any longer. Miss Elizabeth is to stay with her relatives in London after she leaves your home, is that correct? I shall attend her there, with my sister, if you feel she would be amenable to such a visit."

"I think that would be an acceptable course of action, Mr. Darcy. Eliza needs a bit of time come to terms with her feelings as well as what has occurred between you. May I deliver the letter you mentioned to Elizabeth? Your words may be the most effective way of influencing her opinion of you for the better."

Darcy retrieved the letter from his pocket, handing it to Charlotte. "Mrs. Collins, thank you for your kindness. You hold more than this letter in your hands."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Thank you all for your kind reviews. I'm overwhelmed. **_

_**Finally, Darcy and Elizabeth meet again... **_

* * *

Elizabeth studied herself in the mirror. Eight days removed from her last meeting with Mr. Darcy and her emotions were still in turmoil. Charlotte had given her the letter from Mr. Darcy. They had spent much of the last week talking, parsing every word he had written. The letter, coupled with what Charlotte shared with her regarding her conversation with Mr. Darcy, left her stunned. Stunned at how wrong she had been about Mr. Darcy, stunned at how her own powers of discernment had failed her, stunned at how despicable Mr. Wickham proved to be, stunned at how Charlotte had taken her to task.

Now that she was back in London, with Jane and her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, she knew she could expect a visit from Mr. Darcy. Charlotte told her Mr. Darcy intended to pay a call on the Gardiner household with his sister. She was filled with anticipation and dread. Charlotte persuaded her she needed to resolve the discord that existed between herself and Mr. Darcy.

She _needed_ to talk to Mr. Darcy. Her sense of justice demanded it. Mr. Darcy had not even tried to defend himself on the night of his proposal. At the time she was proud that her words and arguments seemed to prevent him from making any excuses. She considered herself the righteous victor of their battle. Now she wondered if he was simply overwhelmed by the vitriol she unleashed upon him.

She felt she owed him the opportunity to offer some defense or explanation beyond the letter. She knew if it was her, she would not be satisfied with something so passive. And if she were honest with herself, her motivation was due to her own guilt and her need to assuage it in some small part. However, she had reached her threshold for honest self-reflection so she could not admit her purposes were less than altruistic.

_You were so smug as you told Mr. Darcy that your courage always rose with every attempt to intimidate you. Well, you are doing a very good job of intimidating yourself._ She needed to summon her courage to get through the day. She knew he would come today. She was sure of it. Looking again at the mirror, she took a deep breath to settle herself, stood up straight, squared her shoulders, and stuck her chin out defiantly. That was the move that undid her. She did not look defiant or courageous, she looked ridiculous with her chin jutting out. Did the authors of the novels she and her sisters read ever try that look in the mirror before assigning that behavior to their heroines? She knew she had indulged in that posture before, _Oh, do I look so silly every time_? The absurdity of this train of thought was welcome for the moment or two it took focus away from what she knew this day would hold.

Mr. Darcy's home was far from her uncle Gardiners' near Cheapside. Would his arrival in the neighborhood remind him of the disgust he felt towards her relations? To accept her mother's behavior was one thing, accepting an uncle in trade was quite another for a man of his position. Accept? Did she want Mr. Darcy to accept her relations? Was she wishing for him to renew his attentions to her?

No. Yes. Maybe. She just did not know. She still had so many questions. There were still things between them that needed to cleared up. Then, and only then, could she think about how their relationship might progress. At this point, she did not feel as though she knew the real Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Tidying her hair, she was ready to head downstairs to await her visitors.

* * *

Darcy studied himself in the mirror. The eight days removed from his last meeting with Miss Elizabeth had seemed interminable. Despite how they left things between them, he was most anxious to see her again. He could not stand the idea that she was somewhere in the world thinking ill of him. The vulnerability he felt at her refusal had opened his heart and mind to her even further. The letter he wrote her and his conversation with Mrs. Collins were only the start of uncharacteristic behavior he exhibited since his even more uncharacteristic proposal.

Upon his return to London, he took steps to rectify his mistake regarding Bingley and Miss Bennet. While Bingley was not currently in residence in town, he sent a most discreet letter asking him to call at Darcy House at his earliest convenience as they needed to discuss something of great and _angelic_ import.

He had also laid bare to Georgiana his entire acquaintance with Elizabeth. Georgiana was appalled her revered older brother could behave in such a fashion. However, his confession of his conduct had made their bond stronger. No longer was he the infallible father figure in her mind. She could help him learn from his mistakes and heal, just as he had aided her last summer.

Now, he dressed with great care. Though his valet had dressed him immaculately as always, Darcy had stressed he required simplicity in his waistcoat and the knot of his cravat. He did not wish his attire to seem ostentatious or showy. His hair was not artfully tousled, but simply clean and neat, with the waves falling naturally across his brow.

He would see her in an hour. He would introduce her to his sister. He hoped they would be able to speak with honesty and civility. Mrs. Collins suggested Elizabeth needed time and space but that his return to London would find her amenable to further conversation. He so wished they could start anew. As that was not possible, they would forge ahead with, hopefully, greater understanding based on the good counsel of Mrs. Collins.

* * *

Mrs. Gardiner welcomed Mr. and Miss Darcy into her home. As Elizabeth made the introductions, she stole glances at Mr. Darcy, never quite meeting his eye. She was too overwhelmed at seeing him to do more. Thus, she turned her attention to Miss Darcy while Jane engaged Mr. Darcy, renewing their acquaintance and sharing the news of Meryton and its populace.

"Miss Darcy, I am very pleased meet you. I have heard many fine reports of you. I hope you are well. Do you find London agreeable?" _Slow down, Elizabeth_, she thought to herself. With her nerves, Elizabeth was relying on the most basic of small talk. She felt she, and her conversation, were dull and boring. _At least, I have yet to speak of the weather._

"I have been most desirous of meeting you as well, Miss Elizabeth. My brother speaks highly of you. I hope this is the first of many meetings. I look forward to getting to know you better." Georgiana feared she was being too bold, but she was anxious for her brother and Miss Elizabeth to find their way to each other. She would do whatever she could to ensure it. She had never seen her brother exhibit such depth of feeling as he did when speaking of Elizabeth Bennet.

"Have you been much in your brother's company this spring, Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth wondered if Miss Darcy knew of the proposal at Hunsford. Would Mr. Darcy have told her? She would not be surprised if he had done so. As she had learned, Miss Darcy experienced her own heartbreak at the hand of Mr. Wickham. She hoped the scoundrel no longer held a place in Miss Darcy's heart. Now, the girl was before her. She had an expressive face, showing concern and curiosity. Sweet and unassuming she may be, there was a hint of something forceful in her manner. Yes, she determined, Miss Darcy knew.

"We have not spent much time together but for this past week. As you know he was visiting my Aunt Catherine at Rosings Park. I was intrigued by his recounting of the visit. It seemed much livelier than visits past. I know that as challenging as he finds these visits, he felt great regret leaving as there were particular incentives to extend his stay this year. Perhaps, he will find similar incentives in London." Georgiana was pleased with her part of the conversation. She hoped Miss Elizabeth would understand that her brother wished to continue their acquaintance.

For the first time in a week, Elizabeth wanted to smile. Subtlety was not Miss Darcy's forte. She responded in kind. "I think you are correct. My own visit was quite lively as well. Challenges do seem to thrive at Rosings Park. I, too believe there are incentives to be found in London." This awkward exchange was oddly endearing and comforting. Mr. Darcy did not hold a grudge. This much was apparent. There was still much to discuss but she would not hold a grudge either. She felt relief and the knot in her stomach loosened a bit.

Elizabeth and Miss Darcy continued their conversation, moving on to safer topics such as theatre and music. At times, they heard pieces of the conversation in which the others were engaged. On hearing Mrs. Gardiner hailed from Lambton, Miss Darcy excused herself from Elizabeth to chat about the merits of Derbyshire with Mrs. Gardiner and Jane.

_Now, that was much more subtle_, Elizabeth thought, as Miss Darcy and her brother smoothly changed places. Picking at a thread on his glove, Mr. Darcy spoke first, his eyes meeting hers fleetingly. "Miss Bennet, I have so much I wish to say. I hardly know where to begin. However, I suspect this is not the place for it."

Turning to the rest of the party, Elizabeth sought to remedy that situation, "It is a lovely day. Perfect for a walk. Would anybody care to join us in the park?" Mrs. Gardiner politely declined in order to see to her children. As they made their way to the park, the quartet paired off, Jane and Georgiana, and Elizabeth and Darcy.

For the first time since Hunsford they had the opportunity to speak openly. Other than the few words of greeting and the comments preceding their walk they had spoken naught. Uncomfortable as they were, they both fell back on their Meryton facades.

"Miss Elizabeth, may I ask, did you read my letter?" Mr. Darcy asked, stiffly.

Trying to revert back to her teasing nature, it rang false as she stated "It is most improper for acquaintances to share correspondence. You, sir, I do not even know." There was an unexpected edge to her voice. _Where did that come from?_ she wondered.

Mr. Darcy's brow furrowed, and his frown deepened. This, he had not anticipated. _What was she about? Had Ms. Collins been mistaken?_ This curt dismissal might just be his breaking point. Perhaps, he was not yet ready for this conversation. "Very well. I bid you good day and leave you with my wishes for your continued health and happiness. May I trust you to see Georgiana back to the Gardiner's house once you complete your walk? My carriage and footmen will await her there."

Elizabeth was not sure what reaction she expected from her attempt at flippancy, but this is not what she imagined. Elizabeth chastised herself, _Must I always tease?_ What she thought as a witticism fell flat. Too late she realized it made sense only to her. Mr. Darcy had no way of knowing that she had been rethinking the entirety of their acquaintance and felt she did not know him any more than those she might pass in the lanes of the park.

"Please, Mr. Darcy, I should not...I…" Elizabeth faltered. She could not gaze upon him. She opened her mouth a few times as if to speak but could not utter a another syllable.

"Miss Bennet, I have no wish to make you uncomfortable. You have made it quite obvious you find me in every way repellent. I have no desire to force my presence upon you for any longer than is necessary to see you safely delivered to your companions. And on my own behalf, I have not the strength to brace for another blow. I will leave you to yourself." Mr. Darcy stated with a bow as he made to lead her Jane and Georgiana.

_Brace for another blow_, thought Elizabeth, _a phrase that suggests such violence. A most fitting parallel. I was most violent in abusing him. _She had desired an opportunity to discuss their differences with him. Now she had one, she was wasting it. _Stop him, ask him if he has something to explain, give him a chance. You can do this. _

"Mr. Darcy, I should have realized this was not a time for any attempt at levity. I apologize. In fact, I have much for which to apologize. I have read your letter, sir, and as a result, I find my former opinions at odds with what I am feeling now. Charlotte, has also encouraged me to look beyond my previous prejudice toward you."

Mr. Darcy started, so surprised was he. "Miss Bennet, I must confess I did not expect such generosity. I spoke to you most harshly. My behavior was unconscionable. I most humbly apologize."

"Mr. Darcy, I wish I could say my own behavior was above reproach, but I cannot. Thus, I think a conversation is, indeed, in order. I believe it will serve us both well, as difficult as it may prove to be."

Mr. Darcy bowed in acknowledgement. "Where shall I begin?"

"Mr. Darcy, I would like to begin." _Look him in the eye. You owe him that at least. No bashful avoidance. _"I did a great deal of thinking since we last met. I feel I have treated you unfairly. You once said I had a propensity to willfully misunderstand people. How true that statement has proven to be. Through Charlotte and your letter, I fully apprehend the magnitude of my errors. Most especially, I apologize for believing and championing Mr. Wickham. And, now, to know the extent of his reprehensible conduct against you and your poor sister, I am even further revolted by my behavior. You must think me very foolish."

"No, Miss Elizabeth, NO. You must not chastise yourself for being taken in by a practiced deceiver. Had I not valued my own comfort and privacy above all things his character would have been known and you would not have been placed in such a position. My own father left this world sure of the goodness and worth of this same man." Darcy refused to allow her to place such blame on herself for her mistake.

"That may be. However, I had too much confidence in my first impressions. Impressions are shallow and imprecise at best. By not wishing to look deeper I condemned you and praised Mr. Wickham on the most paltry of evidence. Mr. Wickham sought my favor, you did not. It is as simple as that. I admit my feelings were wounded to hear a handsome man did not find me handsome enough to tempt him."

Though embarrassed, Darcy had known he would need to address the insult he had uttered at the assembly. "Such a comment was beneath me. A gentlemen should never speak so in regards to any lady. I must tell you I consider that comment as one of the greatest falsehoods I have ever spoken. You do, indeed, tempt me. My eyes are drawn to you, whenever, wherever you are in the room. I find you so very lovely it…" He had said too much. He could feel his face heat as he considered the inappropriateness of his statement.

With a matching blush, though secretly pleased, Elizabeth steered the conversation away from the her ability to tempt such a man. "Mr. Darcy, there are things I cannot quite reconcile yet. I have come to understand you better, but I am at a loss to comprehend your behavior in company."

"One evening at Rosings Park, you challenged me. You asked how a man of _sense_ and _education_, and who has lived in the _world_, is ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers. The truth is, those things matter not. They have no bearing on whether one can recommend themselves to others. It is living in the world that makes me hold myself aloof and maintain my reserve. It is the possession of those very attributes that cause me to trust so few, to rely upon even fewer. Loss, disappointment, and betrayal are never easy, regardless one's circumstances. " Darcy had stopped walking. His voice was so quiet Elizabeth had to move closer to hear him.

"You spoke of taking the trouble to practice. If only it were so very simple. That all one need do is to try harder or practice more…and then you can be the person you want to be. Have you never wished to be something you are not? Is it easy to wholly embrace even a single characteristic that would, that could, make you a better person, or at least bring you closer to being the person you want to be?

"Practice does not always yield the outcome one desires. Be it playing the pianoforte, or drawing, or playing chess, or even talking to strangers, practice and proficiency do not always align. Success is not guaranteed." With this comment, Elizabeth could not but think of her sister, Mary. Hours of practice at the pianoforte did not make for generally pleasing results. To imagine practice to be a panacea to shyness or introversion was arrogantly dismissive.

Elizabeth had a feeling she was getting yet another glimpse of the real Mr. Darcy. Powerful and assertive he may be, when it came time to relate to people in social situations these traits deserted him. Had he not declared as much? He could not catch the tone of other's conversations or feign interest where there was none. Those inconsequential niceties, that now seemed so trite, he eschewed. Mr. Bingley, Sir William Lucas, they were both amiable men, comfortable in social settings. Were they better men because of it? Did having such a personality speak to their honesty, loyalty, or compassion? Mr. Wickham was a direct contradiction to that thought.

"I find I must once more apologize. The accusations of conceit and disdain I leveled against you, I can very well turn upon my myself. I am ashamed." Trying to hide the catch in her voice, Elizabeth turned away. Remembering Jane and Georgiana had joined them for the walk, she noted they had stopped to speak with one of her aunt's neighbors some distance ahead.

"Miss Elizabeth, it was not my intent to cause you distress nor do I seek an apology. I deserve no such privilege. However, if you can forgive me for _being_ a selfish cretin, I can certainly forgive you for _thinking_ me such, particularly as it is my own behavior upon which your opinion is based.

"At every turn, I offended and insulted you. I let my pride prevail over the good principles my parents instilled in me. I imagined myself so far above my company. I presumed to know better the hearts and minds of the good people of Meryton, of Bingley. I, who acknowledge I have no skill in relating to others. Such hubris!" As he looked at Elizabeth once again, he noticed a small smile gracing her lips. He cocked his head, wondering what made her smile.

"Mr. Darcy, that is an elegant defense, to be sure. A cunning strategy, for you have stripped me of anything else to say for you have said it all. I have never heard you so verbose." This time the tease worked. Darcy, too, smiled and returned the tease.

"Stripped you of anything else to say? May I claim to be the first to do so? I shall be able dine out on the story of a speechless Elizabeth Bennet among all the four and twenty families in Meryton." At this, Elizabeth could not help but laugh. She then turned serious once again.

"Do you wish to dine out with the families of Meryton? With my family?" Did he expect to return to Meryton? Elizabeth was surprised but not displeased that this may be his wish.

"Miss Elizabeth, I know this tentative truce we have," Darcy paused and raised an eyebrow in question as Elizabeth nodded in the affirmative, "is a matter of minutes but I hope we can progress from here. I would very much like to be your friend. I would very much like to become a man worthy of you. I know it will take some time. I do not presume the absence of misunderstandings between us means you now return my affections. I simply seek an opportunity to earn your trust and respect.

"At some point that means making amends to your friends and family for my boorish behavior. And when I dine out on my story, I believe humble pie will be set before me at a number of tables." Mr. Darcy's sincerity touched her. She wanted to ask more of his intentions when they were interrupted by Jane and Georgiana. So engrossed were Darcy and Elizabeth in their conversation they had not noticed their approach.

"Lizzy, it is time to return to our Aunt Gardiner's." Jane hoped they had ample time to clear the air between them.

They made their way back to the Gardiner's townhome. Before taking their leave, Miss Darcy issued an invitation for the ladies of the house to join her for tea the next day. As Elizabeth walked them to the door, Georgiana, again, not so subtlety, stated she forgot her reticule and rushed back into the room she had just left.

Thus, it was with a smile on her face that Elizabeth turned to Mr. Darcy and boldly asked, "Will you allow me the opportunity to see who you truly are?"


	4. Chapter 4

Darcy stood at the window, glancing out at the street in front of his townhome._ Will you allow me the opportunity to see who you truly are? _

Those words had been repeating in his mind since the morning before. Darcy was positively giddy at the thought she would be in his home very soon.

_Talk to her. Do not let her wonder how you feel_. After her refusal he thought he would never risk his heart again, to her or any other woman. He would never allow himself the vulnerability he experienced upon her rejection. Yet, he somehow knew it was his newfound vulnerability that would aid him in winning Elizabeth. Stripping away the barriers he had built around himself would be necessary. He would start today.

_Elizabeth wants to get to know the man I truly am! _He was not sure _he_ really knew who that man was. He was a good man, a decent man, undoubtedly. He prided himself on being so. Pride, alas, that had not always worked so well for him. He was responsible and resolute and predictable. Although, Elizabeth had certainly upended whatever predictability he previously possessed.

Was he too sober? At the root of his previous desire for a marriage partner with fortune and connection was responsibility. He believed strongly in responsibility and accountability. Responsibility to name, to family, to legacy. He knew, now, he valued responsibility too highly. Responsibility was all well and good, but it must be tempered with something more, something that would allow light and joy in his life.

And he was responsible for so much and so many. If he were honest with himself, he was weary of it. He needed to throw off the weight that usually came to rest on the shoulders of man of more advance years. He yearned for a more carefree existence. One he was convinced he could have with Elizabeth.

While he had the funds and position to have his own way, how often did he truly take advantage of it and do something just for himself? His visit to Netherfield last fall was not because it was what _he_ wanted. He had promised to aid Bingley with his estate. Lord knew he did not want to be in such close company with Caroline Bingley. He also acceded to his sister's desire for distance after her experience at Ramsgate. Proposing to Elizabeth was the first thing he had ever done just for himself. Unfortunately, unused to do taking only his own desires into account he had erred too far to other the extreme. But yesterday, Elizabeth gave him hope.

Letting her see who he was when not encumbered by his reserve and responsibility, his Darcy persona, should not be so hard, should it? He was most open with Georgiana, his cousin Richard, and Bingley. He tried to think why that was. How came he to be so comfortable with them? They trusted each other implicitly. They cared for the wellbeing of each other. He did not fear their judgment. The trust and respect that they had in each other meant any judgment was understood to be in the other's best interests. Chagrined, Darcy had to admit that best interests did not always translate to the best outcomes.

The teasing, that was something else. They could be relentless when they found something that tickled them. But then, he could be so as well. He could give back as good as he got. They could relax and laugh together. He did not have to be on his guard.

These relationships had been cultivated over a lifetime, or in Bingley's case, several years. How could he place Elizabeth in this same company? He was not trying to talk himself out of what he felt for Elizabeth. On the contrary, this visceral reaction he felt for her was so unlike any he felt before, there was no way he could deny it. How did he capitalize on the nascent feelings Elizabeth seemed to have for him? Before he had time to consider it more, his thoughts were interrupted.

"Mrs. Edward Gardiner, Miss Jane Bennet, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet," Mr. Ward, the butler, announced the ladies from Gracechurch Street. Darcy practically bounced on his toes behind Georgiana, he was so excited. His grin could not be repressed.

Elizabeth was startled by how pleased Mr. Darcy was to welcome them into his home. His smile lightened his countenance in a way that made the already handsome man appear…utterly adorable. It was not a word she had ever thought to use to describe him. Baby animals were adorable, her young nephews were adorable, yet, it seemed so perfectly appropriate a word. She could not help but grin back at him. This did not escape the notice of their respective family members. Sharing knowing glances, they would await their opportunities to help advance the understanding of their dear relations.

"Miss Elizabeth, you are looking very lovely, today." _Oh, goodness, would she find that insulting?_ "Not that you do not look lovely every day. However, you are all the more lovely… here…today…at Darcy House. Your, um, dress is very lovely." Egad, could he say lovely one more time? "That is a lovely color, um, what do you call it?" It appeared he could.

_He is darling when he's flustered._ With a hint of impish smile, but otherwise straight-faced, Elizabeth simply replied, "Yellow."

"Ah, yes, of course. It is most lov- becoming. You look warm and glowing, like a sunbeam, one could bask in your warmth." _Oh, dear Lord, I am babbling. And I am much too forward._ "Your aunt and sister also look very…well."

"Yes, my Aunt Gardiner and Jane are all things _lovely_, as is Miss Darcy. We were all very happy to meet her yesterday." The look she gave Darcy was very warm, indeed. He was encouraged. He would never have the smooth charisma of Wickham, or even his cousin. Unpracticed, overeager, awkward charm, that he could do, he thought. _Most likely it would be unintentional_.

"Ah, a change of subject. Very well, hopefully I can work lovely into the conversation a few more times." Elizabeth could not stop the delighted laughter that bubbled up. "Perhaps we should join the others before I can subject you to that, though." As he gestured her forward, his other hand hovered near the small of her back, not quite touching her but guiding her nonetheless.

Jane and Mrs. Gardiner looked to the couple. They were pleased to see the return of Elizabeth's happy disposition. She had not been herself upon her return from Hunsford. Elizabeth had slowly revealed all that occurred between her and Mr. Darcy, Charlotte's reprimand, as well as her encouragement. They were far more easily reconciled to the fact that Mr. Darcy's character differed so from what they believed it to be.

"Miss Elizabeth, I am so glad you have chosen to join our conversation," proclaimed slyly. With a smile to herself, Elizabeth wondered if Miss Darcy was always so endearingly artless. She could guess at her motivations but found it rather sweet. These Darcys were not quite what she had expected. "We were discussing music. My poor brother has suffered many a conversation and concert on my behalf in that regard. Music is my greatest passion."

"Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, I am sorry I neglected to greet you properly before. Pray excuse my lapse. Georgie is, indeed, correct. Music is quite her passion. However, I will cannot accept that I have suffered for it. Music is one of my pleasures, as well. I consider myself most fortunate to live with such a talent as she is on the pianoforte. Georgiana has a _lovely_ touch on the keys. It is a joy to listen to her."

Elizabeth bit her lip to curb her laughter. It would not do for Miss Darcy to believe she found her skill at the pianoforte a matter for amusement. Mr. Darcy knew exactly what she was doing, and she saw a hint of triumph in his expression, pleased with himself for surprising her with his tease. The others did not know what to make of this.

Suddenly shy, Georgiana was unsure how to continue. "My brother tells me you are the most informed young lady of his acquaintance. My own education has been quite conventional. I fear you will find me a poor conversationalist. Music and theatre and fashion are a meager basis for learned discussion."

Noticing the young girl had lost all her seemingly recent confidence, Elizabeth took a seat next to Georgiana and gently took her hand. "Not at all, Miss Darcy. Your brother gives me far too much credit. While I enjoy learning, I find myself woefully ignorant on any number of topics, be they practical or pretty. The learning my sisters and I engaged in was informal and we were allowed to indulge our personal curiosities. That means I was quite happy to neglect any subject that did not spark my immediate interest.

"I read the newspapers available to me, but I am not a bluestocking. And, while it's true I favor history and politics, you are just as likely to find me reading poetry or a novel. I am not at all conversant on crop rotation or scientific experiments or military strategies or any other such thing." Looking at Mr. Darcy, she went on. "I enjoy a good debate and sometimes deliberately seek to be challenging. However, I also delight in talk of music and theatre and fashion. Jane can attest that we, my sisters and I, can sometimes talk and laugh for hours about everything and nothing. Nothing is too silly. I believe we all need a good, regular dose of whimsy in our lives."

At this, Jane could not resist, "Lizzy's sense of whimsy is unparalleled in our family. The stories I could tell you…" As threatened, she regaled the company with stories of Elizabeth's zest for finding humor in unexpected places. From there the conversation shifted many times. Tea long since consumed, the Darcy's entreated the party from Gracechurch to stay longer. However, Mrs. Gardiner declined as they had a prior engagement. However, she invited the Mr. and Miss Darcy to dinner a few days hence. Plans were also made for an evening at the theater in the Darcy box later in the week.

As they prepared to leave, Mr. Darcy found a few moments with Elizabeth. Since their initial conversation that day they had spoken in the group but had no other opportunity for a more private discussion. "Miss, Elizabeth, it was an honor to host you and your companions today. I look forward to more time in your company. I am certain my sister feels the same. I also thank you for your kindness to Georgiana. She is still finding her way back after her experience with Wickham." For the first time that day, a frown appeared on Darcy's face. Elizabeth knew that expression. She now knew what inspired such a transformation of his countenance.

Hoping to see a return of adorable Darcy, she looked at him wide-eyed, as she nonchalantly pulled on her gloves. "I am pleased to call Miss Darcy a _lovely_ new friend. In fact, our time with you today has been ever so _lovely_."

"Indeed," Darcy could heartily agree with both statements spoken by this mischievous woman he was now convinced was the love of his life. Unwilling to wait for a more appropriate opening, Darcy proceeded with the question that had consumed his last day, "We parted yesterday on the most provocative of statements. May I ask, do you really wish to know me? And how may I help you do so? As we both know, I do not excel at presenting myself to my greatest advantage."

Knowing their time as at an end, Elizabeth stepped close to whisper in his ear. "Oh, Mr. Darcy, I very much want to know you. And you are mistaken, you showed yourself to very great advantage today. It was most well done. Shall we walk tomorrow?"


	5. Chapter 5

As much as she delighted in Elizabeth's company, Georgiana knew her brother was desirous of spending as much time as possible with her as propriety allowed. Apparently, her brother did not like to share. Elizabeth did her best to attend both siblings and further her respective relationships with them. However, she understood they were a young couple falling in love. Though Elizabeth and Jane had extended their stay in London, Georgiana knew it would not be long before her brother traveled to Meryton to ask for permission to court Elizabeth.

Georgiana thought he was moving too slowly. When she said as much to him, he smiled and told her patience was a virtue. He and Elizabeth had both erred in making quick judgments at the beginning of their relationship. They were both less willing to trust an equally quick turn of opinion. Georgiana saw them together and she knew, just knew, they belong together. Did they not know the same thing?

Thus, Georgiana took advantage of the times when Darcy's absence was unavoidable to deepen her friendship with Elizabeth. Darcy was well occupied with business lately and Mr. Bingley had returned to London. He spent much time with her brother, closed up in his study, or at their club. Since their mutual visits to call on the Bennet sisters, the tension that existed between the friends had since abated.

Unfortunately, the return of Mr. Bingley meant the return of Miss Bingley. Since experiencing the true friendship of Jane and Elizabeth she had little tolerance for Miss Bingley's claim of attachment to her. Her jealous disdain both confused and irritated Georgiana. Propriety dictated she be a good hostess when Miss Bingley called, but she increasingly tired of the insults made against the Bennets. Miss Bingley thought she was clever, or that Georgiana was too naïve to notice, as she pried for more information regarding the nature of relationship between the Bennets and the Darcys. She had all but forgotten her opposition to Jane Bingley as the prize of Pemberley appeared to be slipping from her grasp.

"The theater, walks in the park, dinner at Gracechurch Street, dinner at Darcy House - you have been seeing much of Miss Eliza Bennet. So much talk among the _ton_ about it. Well, no more. Now that Louisa and I have returned you shall have no need to keep such inferior company. I shall see to it you are more pleasantly occupied." Miss Bingley declared.

Darcy, upon learning that Miss Bingley was attending his sister, left the safety of his study so Georgiana would not be alone with the harridan. He knew Georgiana had no fondness for the lady. Once he was in the room, she would transfer her attentions to him, freeing Georgiana from her overly familiar raptures. The things he did for those he loved.

As he approached the door to the drawing room, he overheard Miss Bingley's comments, determined as she was to arrange Georgiana's time for her own purposes. Moving to enter the room, he caught his sister's eye over Miss Bingley's shoulder. She gave a slight shake of her head, silently asking him to let her handle the situation.

"Do you believe you may dictate with whom I spend time and how?" Was Miss Bingley truly so dense that she would attempt to control her behavior? To scold her for entertaining Elizabeth and her family? Such absurdity she could scarcely fathom!

Miss Bingley, unused to hearing any objection from Miss Darcy, did not truly hear the words or tone she had spoken. "Of course, you cannot know what she is. We shall see that you and dear Mr. Darcy are not plagued by that little country nobody much longer. Why, I…" She got no further as Georgiana interrupted her. She had had enough of Miss Bingley's insults to her friend, not to mention the attempt to direct her and her brother.

"Miss Bingley, you refer to Elizabeth as a little country nobody. I cannot help but ask, are you under the impression that _you are somebody_? I would advise that you may not wish to compare yourself to Elizabeth. You will only find yourself wanting. I _must_ beg, therefore, to be _importuned_ no farther on the subject."

At this, Darcy found it difficult to hold back a bark of laughter. _Brava, Georgiana_. Darcy knew he really should enter the room and discontinue his eavesdropping, but he could not help but wonder what else his darling sister would say. He had a feeling he would enjoy it immensely.

Miss Bingley was aghast to be called out by Miss Darcy. Obviously, she could not mean what she just said. She had been too sheltered and did not realize how dangerous it was to allow these unfortunate persons into her company. It would be her duty to inform her. As Miss Bingley had no sense of self-preservation, she persisted with her attempts to discredit Elizabeth. She did not realize it only raised Georgiana's ire.

"Why Miss Darcy, whatever can you mean? You do not know the Bennets as I do. They are uncouth, without connections, and without fortune. The daughters have not had the benefits of fine schooling as you and I. They come to London but infrequently and when they do, they are not invited to any of the exclusive events."

It took much to anger Georgiana. However, Miss Bingley had managed to do so. Her eyes flashing, she spoke in a deceptively calm voice, much like her brother. "Almost from the very first moment of our acquaintance your manners impressed me as being most supercilious, covetous, and insincere. And, now, I must add, you have proven yourself to be exceedingly obtuse. Your contempt for those like the Bennets belies your own lack of status."

"I will hear no more of this. Mr. Darcy will be appalled when he learns you have spoken to me in this manner." Miss Bingley cried, almost in desperation.

"Miss Bingley, you presume too much on our acquaintance. You have imposed your presence in my home countless times. Now, you will listen. I have suffered your conversation more than is my want. If there is one who is uncouth, it is you. You speak ill of all but those that can advance your own ambitions. Even among those you aspire to be like, you are nothing but a spiteful and rude gossip. My brother is your only connection, and that is based only upon his friendship with _your brother_. Indeed, your presence is tolerated at the _exclusive events_ based on my brother's name alone. Your fortune is built on trade. And, it is markedly clear, your schooling has done little for you.

"Miss Bennet is the daughter of a gentleman. She was raised on her father's estate. She merely has an uncle, not a father and numerous other relations in trade. Her manners, and those of her family I have met, are quite pleasing. She is an enjoyable companion and an excellent conversation partner. Her rather more informal education, along with her natural curiosity and love of reading, has made her knowledgeable on many subjects of greater importance than fashion or gossip or other more conventional lady's pursuits.

The only thing you have to recommend you is your fortune. I can only hope for you to find a match with the same caliber of social climbing, fortune hunter that you yourself are. I would not wish you upon any other. I could speak to Elizabeth's other attributes, but you would not understand, let alone value, such things as kindness, thoughtfulness, and humility. Furthermore, I have the utmost confidence that my brother shares my opinions. You may feel free to consult him, however. While he might take exception that I spoke to any guest in such a manner, I do not believe he will be as appalled as you seem to think."

Miss Bingley had paled and was shaky in her chair, seated across from Miss Darcy. She looked as though she would faint. Georgiana was not convinced the danger of her doing so was real as opposed to a practiced move, seeking to extend her time in Darcy House and an accompanying meeting with her brother.

"Miss Bingley, pull yourself together. You will not swoon on my rug. We both know you are made of far sterner stuff. If you will spread your vitriol far and wide, if you will make petty, ill-mannered comments in the very company of your targets, if you will presume on the goodwill of others to further your own malicious schemes, you should not be surprised when someone upbraids you for your poor behavior. That no one has yet done so is rather unfathomable."

Looking to see if Miss Bingley remained in her seat, Georgiana continued, "God willing, Elizabeth will become a part of my family and Jane will become a part of yours." _Brat_, Darcy thought, still listening at the door. Yes, he was open about his feelings for Elizabeth but Miss Bingley did not need confirmation so she could share that delicious bit of gossip. All of London would know before nightfall.

"It would be to your great benefit to accept that your powers of persuasion will not influence those outcomes. However, I do have some influence on my brother. Where we differ is, I wish the best for him. I want him to be happy. That is of paramount importance to me. But know this, I will use whatever influence I possess, with my brother and beyond, to ensue you no longer trade on the Darcy name. You will not call on Darcy House or Pemberley without a personal invitation. Do not presume upon your brother's friendship with my brother. And if I trace even one scurrilous comment or rumor about any of the Bennets or their family back to you, I will make certain that whatever welcome you retain to the finer establishments in London becomes non-existent.

Miss Bingley gasped at the reality of what Georgiana was saying. Hearing this, Georgiana took a moment to calm herself before she continued.

"This may seem untoward, and perhaps a little vindictive, but I believe my influence extends to you too. With this influence, I simply suggest you modify your behavior in some small but meaningful ways. I have no expectation for you to wholly change. But do you not find not spite and jealousy exhausting? Stop concerning yourself with what other people are or are not doing. You can only control your own actions and reactions. Become a person who is invited to homes and events simply for the pleasure of your company and not the gossip, scorn, and ridicule you contribute in order to entertain those you like only for their position in life. Be better than that, Miss Bingley, and I shall be pleased to call you friend."

Georgiana realized unrestrained honesty, laced with anger, was also exhausting. She was both proud and ashamed of herself. Darcy knew it was time to make his entrance. He would let Miss Bingley believe he was ignorant of the conversation that had just taken place. He quietly retraced his steps down the hall. When he returned, he made sure the click of his boots echoed through the hall. "Good afternoon, Georgiana, Miss Bingley. I was not aware you had called."

Miss Bingley stood and moved to grasp his arm, as was her common practice. Just as she touched him, she snatched her hand back quickly, remembering what Georgiana said about Mr. Darcy sharing her opinions. Flustered, she made her excuses and left the siblings to themselves.

As they heard the front door close, Darcy gathered Georgiana into a comforting hug. Darcy could not help but think that Georgiana and Charlotte Collins would become fast friends from the first moment of their acquaintance.


	6. Chapter 6

In the weeks since the proposal at Hunsford, what he considered his nadir, Darcy had become a very happy man. Tonight, he was seated next to the woman he loved as she played the pianoforte. The evening at the Gardiners was pleasant, as always. His Elizabeth was captivating as ever.

Tomorrow, he would be decidedly less happy as he made his way to Reading, away from Elizabeth. His business could be delayed no longer. Though, in truth, he could no longer conceive of a good time for business concerns. He was more convinced than ever that _any_ separation from Elizabeth would be difficult.

"Are you partial to Pleyel, Miss Elizabeth? You play this piece very well." Darcy whispered as his eyes followed the music on the page.

"Pleyel has always been a favorite of mine. I know it is an unconventional choice where others may prefer the works of Mozart or Beethoven. I find Pleyel much more compelling of late."

"I have to admit, I, too, find the unconventional quite compelling," Darcy replied with a warm look, his arm brushing hers as he turned the page.

Elizabeth suppressed the shiver that ran up her arm. Resisting Mr. Darcy's charms was becoming increasingly challenging. Mr. Darcy would be pleased if she were to react, but she did not wish to show him he could affect her so easily.

Darcy continued, "Things unconventional, like this composition, can be a gift. They can be exquisite and wonderous. Beauty and joy can be found where and when one least expects it. And when one finds it, one should appreciate the positive influence it has on one's life. One should rejoice in…that is to say…I know I would…" he faltered.

Elizabeth's fingers stumbled over the keys briefly. These words were the closest Mr. Darcy had come to a declaration of any sort. Despite his bold gestures, since the early part of their renewed acquaintance, he made it a point not to state any future wishes or anything that might be construed as placing pressure on her. She had come to realize what a very decent man Mr. Darcy was. His patience and thoughtfulness only reinforced this thought.

Now, suddenly shy, she did not know how to respond. She glanced at him quickly. She was surprised by what she saw. His eyes were closed, his mouth downturned, and he gave a very slight shake to his head, as if he was silently chastising himself. She knew he felt he said too much. She hated to see him thus.

"Mr. Darcy, the page, please." Called back to himself, Darcy concentrated on the notes so he could do his duty, as Elizabeth spoke again. "I believe Pleyel's popularity was once attributed to the charm of simplicity and feeling he brought to his music. I can quite agree. Lately, I find myself turning to Pleyel's catalog as opposed to more heavy, ponderous works. There is a lightness and excitement that is very appealing to me, that I've been drawn to, since I have been in London."

_Lightness and excitement! Dare I hope she feels so because of me? _Darcy wondered. He thought back through the times spent in her company. Lightness and excitement, he could happily claim for himself. If she was experiencing the same, he would not question it.

Lost again in his thoughts, Elizabeth, amused, leaned over to bump his shoulder with hers. He found it an oddly intimate, yet teasing, motion, indicative of how comfortable she felt with him. Perhaps he had not erred with his previous comments. She did not appear upset. Indeed, she was playful, though she had to be aware of his self-reproach. Or perhaps it was because she was aware of it that she did not wish for him to dwell upon it.

His earlier restraint was for the best, he supposed. But, oh, how he wished he could speak plainly, rather than couching what he wanted to say in terms of music, or any of the myriad other topics that could be used to mask his intent. When he once again declared his love and asked for her hand he would speak from the heart with no obstacle to his expression. She deserved to hear the words, the proper words, spoken so she could have no doubts.

Upon finishing her song, Elizabeth and Darcy yielded the pianoforte to one of Mrs. Gardiner's other guests. They made their way to the refreshments available in the drawing room.

"It has been a fine evening. It is the last one we are likely to enjoy in this manner for some time. Your business takes you away from London tomorrow and I expect our departure to Longbourn is imminent. I wish you safe travels, Mr. Darcy."

"May I hope that you also wish me a speedy return, Miss Elizabeth?" So much for restraint, he thought.

Offering her a glass of wine, his hand cupped hers briefly to ensure she had a firm grasp before releasing it. At least, that is what he told himself. He knew he was being ridiculous. He also knew that Elizabeth was aware of the excuses he found to touch her. Often, there was no excuse to be had, for more than once, almost without thinking, he found himself moving to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. He had become accustomed to holding the hand she placed upon his arm as they walked. He believed she welcome his attentions.

Elizabeth did enjoy his attentions. In fact, she found his touch very pleasant, indeed. His behavior toward her was becoming more flirtatious, as was hers toward him. Her aunt Gardiner had cautioned her about being too forward. In truth, as long as they maintained propriety, Mrs. Gardiner had no wish to dampen the obvious warmth between the young couple. She knew they would face a great deal of scrutiny. They were already a topic of conversation in the houses of the ton. The strength and confidence they seemed to find in one another would help them.

"You may if you wish. However, I find I wish more for your continued presence in London. I will miss our conversations." Elizabeth, too, was tiring of the disguise in which propriety demanded they engage.

"Is that all you will miss? Our conversations?" Darcy asked.

"Audacious man! Very well, I will miss you as well." Elizabeth's face reflected that of the now beaming Mr. Darcy. "I cannot think why, though, bold young men are thick on the ground in London."

"Perhaps, but I flatter myself that bold young men who excel at awkward compliments and professions of endearment, who make you like_them against your will_, _against your_ reason, and even _against your_ better judgement, are less often encountered."

That was not the reply Elizabeth expected. Mr. Darcy had a twinkle in his eye as he said it. She could not help but laugh as he raised his eyebrows comically. That he could make her laugh with her own words, spoken under much different circumstances, left her completely unguarded. "Oh, and I do like you, Mr. Darcy but I cannot say it is against my will, reason, or judgement."

At that moment, Darcy knew he would complete his business with preternatural swiftness. Elizabeth Bennet would not be returning to Longbourn without him.


	7. Chapter 7

There could be no further delay. Mr. Bennet determined it was time for his favorite daughters to return home. He had already allowed them to extend their London visit by an additional six weeks, at their aunt's urging. And so it was, the Darcy carriage made its way to Meryton. Inside, Georgiana Darcy, Mrs. Gardiner, Jane Bennet, and Elizabeth Bennet enjoyed pleasant conversation. The ladies had been in frequent company and had grown close. Georgiana considered Jane and Elizabeth to be great friends. Mrs. Gardiner's maternal care had been a balm to Georgiana's lonely soul. She had gradually opened up about all manner of things but especially her experience with George Wickham. Knowing Wickham was quartered close to the Bennet home had given her pause. However, Georgiana felt she had found her strength and her voice. She was ready to face him, if it came to that.

The accompanying carriage carried Mr. Gardiner, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. The gentlemen, also, had concerns about those they would encounter at the end of their journey. Both Darcy and Bingley were aware they might not be readily welcomed by the residents of Longbourn and its environs. Bingley and Miss Bennet were well on their way to an understanding. This time Bingley was taking a more considered approach. Miss Bennet was enjoying his attentions but neither had any intention to rush matters. They had both matured since last autumn. Bingley was less certain of Mr. Bennet. And he now realized all Meryton considered him an inconstant cad. What hope did he have to win the approbation of Mr. Bennet.

The quantity and severity of Darcy's sins were much greater. He meant to atone for them as was possible. Like Georgiana, he too had found his strength and voice. This would see him through the meetings, and parties, and dinners. And the apologies his sense of justice rightly require he issue. Apologies he would make with all sincere humility. No longer would he hold himself aloof. He would join the conversations, he would take care to know those in the neighborhood, regardless of any discomfort he might still feel. Some of his natural confidence returned. He did not question the certainty of his success_. _He cringed almost instantly at this thought; his overconfidence had once almost cost him what he desired most. He did not doubt, however, that he and Bingley would both be groveling before Mr. Bennet for permission to court his daughters.

These weeks had been wondrous for Elizabeth. The contentment she felt was unlike any she had experienced before. Mr. Darcy had been a revelation. That he was Intelligent and sensible she always knew. To find him so amiable and warmhearted was unexpected. Increasingly, he was showing her how generous and thoughtful he could be. The glimpses of affection she saw left her longing for so much more. That her feelings for Mr. Darcy had changed so dramatically was at the forefront of her mind. Her anxiety was building as the carriage drew closer to Longbourn, and closer to her father and his reaction to the growing attachment between Mr. Darcy and herself.

Besides enjoying their company, all parties thought the added presence of the Gardiners would be to everybody's benefit. To keep Mrs. Bennet in check, to smooth Bingley's return to Netherfield, to help persuade everyone that Darcy's fondness for Elizabeth and the alterations to his disposition were very real.

The carriages arrived at Longbourn to the great delight of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, though for quite different reasons. Mr. Bennet had missed his sensible daughters. They had been gone much too long and he had been left with the inanity that was his wife and three youngest. He would rest well tonight knowing his family was all under one roof once again. The presence of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy suggested this may very well be a temporary situation.

Mrs. Bennet, however, directed her declarations of welcome briefly to the Gardiners, inquiring after their children, who would arrive on the morrow with their nurse, then turned her focus to Jane and Mr. Bingley. "Oh, Mr. Bingley, how kind you are to bring my girls back to me. It will be a pleasure to have Jane at home again. She's such a good girl, so pleasant, helpful, and accommodating. I've been lost these months without her."

Elizabeth, granted only the most fleeting of greetings from her mother, stepped back to observe her mother's ensuing raptures at having Mr. Bingley once again in the neighborhood. Mr. Darcy received on a curt nod and Mrs. Bennet had not yet spied Miss Darcy. Only a few months ago, Elizabeth would have felt heat rise to her cheeks as she attempted to either ignore or temper her mother's effusions. Charlotte had altered her perspective on some of her mother's more trying behavior. The same could be said for Darcy. He was not surprised by his reception, or lack thereof, but he knew it was his own fault.

"Mr. Bingley, you left us so suddenly last autumn. We quite despaired of ever seeing you again. Now here we are all together again. Will you be staying long? And what of your charming sisters?" Mrs. Bennet gushed.

"Mrs. Bennet, thank you for your kind welcome." Bingley replied. "My sisters and brother will not be joining us on this visit. The Darcy's will be staying for a time. And I have invited the Gardiners to be my guests so Mrs. Gardiner may serve as my hostess. It would not do if I could not return the generosity of my neighbors." Bingley also wished for the Gardiners to continue as chaperones without he and Darcy having to brave Longbourn and the effusions of Mrs. Bennet and her younger daughters on a daily basis.

Mrs. Bennet was taken aback to learn of the Gardiners staying at Netherfield. While she did not enjoy having her nieces and nephews underfoot, she could not help but feel her place usurped by her sister. She could have quite easily served as hostess when the occasion required. Mr. Bingley had only to ask. However, she acknowledged that it would serve her ambition to see Jane united with Mr. Bingley quite well. Jane could make more frequent visits to Netherfield than would otherwise be proper due to her relations presence in the household.

Thinking of the household, it was only then that her mind registered Mr. Bingley's use of Darcys, plural. It was bad enough the insufferable Mr. Darcy returned with his friend. Now, he brought with him a young lady, most likely his sister. Jane's presumed rival, if Miss Bingley's letter from last November was to be believed. Yes, the Gardiner's presence at Netherfield could be just the thing.

"Mr. Darcy, I am certain Mr. Bingley is very pleased you are able to join his party once again." _Did he not have his own home?_ Mrs. Bennet wondered. "I hope you will have an enjoyable visit."

Darcy could not restrain the grin that came to his lips. Mrs. Bennet, as unfamiliar with subtlety she may be, was carefully diplomatic in her words. That she did not fawn over him or make insincere comments, even as part of acceptable small talk, made him reconsider is opinion of her. Mrs. Collins had suggested this may be necessary. For her part, Mrs. Bennet had never seen such an expression on the face of the stern Mr. Darcy. She was quite unprepared for how amiable and youthful it made him appear.

Mr. Darcy bowed politely. "Thank you. I am sure we shall. My sister has accompanied us as well. Georgiana," he beckoned her forward. "May introduce you to Mr. Bennet of Longbourn, Mrs. Bennet, Miss Mary Bennet, Miss Catherine Bennet, and Miss Lydia Bennet. My sister, Georgiana Darcy."

After pleasantries were exchange, the Netherfield party was persuaded to stay for tea. After a brief respite for the travelers to repair themselves from their journey, everyone gathered in the sitting room for refreshments. Mrs. Bennet asked after the plans of Mr. Bingley's sisters as they were not joining him during this visit.

"Caroline, Louisa, and Hurst will be venturing to Brighton for the summer. Caroline felt she need a change of scenery" Bingley stated, glancing at the Darcys as he said this.

"La, how lucky they are. I am sure I would love to visit the seaside. Especially as the militia will be moving to Brighton soon. Perhaps Mrs. Forster will invite me to be her companion. I _am_ her particular friend," exclaimed Lydia.

Mr. Bingley's impulsive nature took over as an idea formed. "Perhaps there will be no need to await an invitation from Mrs. Forster." He now had Lydia's complete attention. "I am sure my sisters would be happy to host you. Hurst has taken a house on East Street. Miss Mary and Miss Catherine, you would be welcome as well. I believe you will find the society they move in and the events they attend to be much more elegant and pleasing than that of the militia." Bingley grinned widely as Darcy raise an eyebrow in suspicion. Mrs. Bennet, Lydia, and Kitty squealed in delight. The peace this scheme would grant him had Mr. Bennet only too happy to agree.

When given the chance, Darcy spoke to his friend in a low whisper. "Bingley, what are you about? Do you truly mean to send the young ladies to stay with Hurst and your sisters? I cannot imagine they will be pleased. Nor do I think the Bennet ladies will enjoy their time under their critical eyes. Your sisters can be quite unforgiving."

"While Caroline is a changed woman these last weeks since her, shall we say, frank discussion with Georgiana, she has earned this penalty, as has Louisa. Not to say entertaining the youngest Bennets is a punishment. I am optimistic they will be good for each other. My sisters need to remember the joy that can be found in life when one is not so cynical. Miss Catherine and Miss Lydia's high spirits will be a fitting challenge to the fashionable boredom Caroline and Louisa have so carefully cultivated. They, in turn, can introduce Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia to new experiences and a wider society. I believe there will be ample occasion to modify their behavior."

"Of which pair are you speaking, Bingley?"

"Both." Bingley's smile was dazzling. He was quite pleased with himself.

* * *

"It has been sometime since I have had the opportunity to walk the gardens of Longbourn. I confess to being eager to revisit them. I have missed the familiar paths beneath my feet." Elizabeth exclaimed the next morning. Her face shone with contentment. It was a beautiful day and Mr. Darcy was by her side. Most of current residents of Netherfield and Longbourn elected to pursue other activities. Only Miss Darcy and Mary decided to join them.

As, the walkers commenced their exercise, Darcy took great care to include Mary and Georgiana in the conversation, directing the discussion toward topics of interest to them both. At first, Mary was anxious at this unexpected attention. She quickly warmed to the company and became less apprehensive and more animated. Soon, she and Georgiana opted to sit in the shade of a nearby tree as Elizabeth and Darcy ventured a bit further, staying in sight of the other pair.

"I did not become acquainted with the paths during my visit last autumn. This is quite nice. I can understand why you are so drawn to them." He silently took in all around him. Breathing deeply, he felt the peace he had been waiting for these last weeks." He reached for Elizabeth and gently hooked her first two fingers with his.

"Elizabeth, are you happy?" he whispered. When she released a breathless yes, he stepped closer. "It is not just because you are home, is it? With your family?" She shook her head.

May I be so bold to ask if I have a role in your happiness?"

"You may. And I am bold enough to tell you that, yes, you do indeed. I find I am quite pleased with you, Mr. Darcy." She tightened the tentative hold she had on his fingers and stepped closer. "And you, sir? Are you happy?

"I am. You know I am. You also know you are the reason. My happiness would be even greater if you would consent to a courtship with me." He took yet another step closer, as he did so, he shifted his grip, so her palm met his and their fingers entwined.

His words, the feel of her hand in his, the scent of him, his closeness; they flooded her senses and her heart. She knew at that moment what the longing was that she had been feeling. "Mr. Darcy, I am agreeable to a courtship, most agreeable. And, while I have come to appreciate your patience and reserve, if you wished to ask a different question, I can assure you of a favorable response."

Darcy was struck silent and still for a long moment. Elizabeth feared she had gone too far. Then a most becoming expression of heartfelt delight diffused over his face. "Elizabeth Bennet, please say you will keep your hand in mine for all our days. Your good heart, clever mind, your laughter, your vibrancy - they sustain me. I can think of no greater honor than for you to take me as your husband. I love you so very much. Marry me?"

"There is nothing I desire more in this world, Fitzwilliam. I will marry you. You have come to be so very important to me—" Her words were silence by a sweet first kiss upon her lips.

"Brother, is there something you wish to tell us?" Georgiana and Mary walked toward the joyous couple.

"Indeed, there is, _sisters_." With a whoop, Darcy picked Elizabeth up off her feet and spun her around. He set her on the ground with a quick kiss to the mouth. He followed by doing the same, but with a kiss to the cheek, to Georgiana and Mary.

As they had surreptitiously watched the couple, Georgiana had related to Mary how she had witnessed the growing fondness between Elizabeth and her brother. Mary was surprised that such a thing should come to pass but also that she was rather looking forward to having Mr. Darcy as a brother. She believed Mr. Darcy would be a much more reassuring presence than Mr. Bingley, who she suspected would also become an older brother in time.

As they made to return to Longbourn, Georgiana and Mary snickered as Darcy boldly took Elizabeth's hand once again. Darcy, in his eagerness to request a meeting with Elizabeth's father, was leading her rapidly down the path. Elizabeth felt more trepidation. She had not yet had a chance to explain her relationship with Mr. Darcy. She was confident her father would see their mutual affection. She just thought he might require some convincing. The Gardiners, Jane, Mr. Bingley, Georgiana - she would use them all to her advantage if necessary. Her father _would_ give them his permission and blessing this very afternoon.

"Married! Just like that? Lizzy wrote she had seen quite a bit of you in London. Are you why my daughter chose to stay in London? Gardiner intimated something of this nature was afoot and said I should give you a chance. How am I do so? I will not have you toying with her affections. Do you share that characteristic with your friend, Mr. Bingley? I will not have it, sir."

Darcy had entered Mr. Bennet's library alone to present his case. Elizabeth waited impatiently outside the door, blatantly obvious in her attempts at eavesdropping. Her father's raised voice made his comments easy to discern. As she was wondering if she should enter the room, a hand gently touched her shoulder.

"Let your young man fight this battle on his own, Lizzy." Mr. Gardiner spoke quietly so the pair in the library would not hear them. He led her a few steps away from the door. She would not go further. "You cannot question his resolve. You will be betrothed, with your father's consent and blessing, ere this hour is passed."

"I do not doubt that, Uncle. Nor do I doubt Mr. Darcy. However, I do not wish words to be spoken that cannot be forgiven. I wish for my husband and my father to be on good terms, without any antagonism between them. Is that not a reasonable desire?" They were interrupted by the harsh voice of her father.

"Do you expect me to believe you are madly in love with my Lizzy? You, who never looked at any woman but to see a blemish? I thought she was not handsome enough to tempt you?"

"Mr. Bennet, Miss Elizabeth knows how ardently I admire and love her." This was stated so matter-of-factly, Mr. Bennet was taken aback. His mouth set in a grim line, his view of love long since jaded, he scoffed, "Love _and_ admiration? Ardently? Really, Mr. Darcy, I never took you for an effusive sop. Laying it on a bit thick, are you not? So few feel one of these, let alone both, for their marriage partner. Do you believe my Lizzy would be so taken in by your insincere professions of love and admiration?"

"Not at all. She knows how very deeply I feel for her. She is most deserving of it." Darcy would not be deterred. He was not surprised by Mr. Bennet's reaction. He rather respected him for his opposition. Thus, he would be as open and impassioned as he could be. "Under the best of circumstances admiration and love work in tandem. While the greatest love is rooted in admiration, the converse is not necessarily true. Admiration need not be romantic. You may admire someone you have never met. Rather, they embody characteristics you value. They conduct themselves in a manner you respect…"

"A tidy philosophy, lad." _Yes, I respect your opposition Mr. Bennet…to a point_, Darcy thought. At this moment, Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner quietly slipped inside the library. The slightest of acknowledgements was given as the verbal sparring continued.

"Mr. Bennet, I am appreciative of the wonderful daughter you have helped raise. I value your sardonic wit. I respect your intellect. You have a masterful knowledge of the classics. You are a fine hunter. I admire you in many ways, but, alas, I do not love you," Darcy said drily, a small, wry smile lifting his lips. Mr. Bennet's scowl became more pronounced as he struggled not to smile as well. He was chagrined to realize he rather like this Mr. Darcy. Determined, witty, and well-spoken. Lizzy just might be able to make something out of him, but he could not surrender just yet.

"Admiration is easy, at least easier, to quantify. However, if actions and motivations prove false, if the foundation on which you build your admiration crumbles, you may lose your admiration for someone. Where there is admiration only, there is disappointment, not heartbreak, when admiration is lost.

"It is not so with love. Otherwise love would not be so dangerous. Even when the foundation on which you build your love crumbles, love is not always lost." Such a thought touched Mr. Bennet profoundly as he thought of his wife. It was true. It had been years since he felt admiration for Mrs. Bennet. However, he could not help but love her. Thus, he was distracted as Mr. Darcy continued his appeal. "Love is a parcel of romantic intangibles – passion and faith and sentiment and beauty and sacrifice…It can be devastating and exquisite." As their eyes met, Elizabeth knew he was thinking of his proposal at Hunsford. She smiled at him to let him know she was only thinking of his proposal on a path at Longbourn.

"So, yes, Elizabeth has my admiration and love."

"You speak prettily but seems rather in the philosophical. You say nothing of Lizzy herself." With Elizabeth present, Mr. Bennet hope she would realize how reserved Darcy's previous recitation sounded. He was relying on Mr. Darcy's well-known habit of saying the wrong thing to make Lizzy rethink her acceptance of the man.

I find it difficult to articulate my love for your daughter. I have never been a verbose man. I- "

"Try," barked Mr. Bennet.

Elizabeth could remain silent no longer. "Papa, love is also personal. I know Mr. Darcy loves me. His words of love are for me alone. It is enough. How open would you have been if Grandfather Gardiner had demanded such a declaration from you?"

Mr. Bennet could not answer that question. "Very well, Elizabeth, but how do you feel about Mr. Darcy?"

"I adore him. There is so much- "As Mr. Darcy's face fell just the tiniest bit, Mr. Bennet appeared cheered as he interrupted her.

"Adore, not love. You said you would not marry but for the deepest love. If you will not hold firm to that sentiment to ensure you happiness, I must do it for you. You will not marry."

"Oh, Papa. For me, adore means so much more. It means I _like_ Mr Darcy. I _love_ him…I am _in_ love with him." Elizabeth turned to face Darcy so, though she was reassuring her father, all her attention was directed to this most precious man. "He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. I wish to make him smile." At this, Darcy unleashed his most joyful smile. She had never seen its like before.

_Oh, my_, Elizbeth thought, struck anew by how handsome he was. Gathering herself, she continued. "He challenges me to think of the world in a different way. He believes in me, in who I am now, and in who I can become. I feel a security and comfort with him I have never experienced. I can think of no other man I would wish to be the father of my children. He is the man I will compare all others to for the rest of my life. It is his name I will whisper with my last breath. He is truly the finest man I have ever known."

"Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth," he reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. "I have never felt so cherished."

Mr. Gardiner had watched all of this in silence. He had been witness to the love growing between the two young people. He did not question the strength of their bond. "Bennet, you know you have no wish to withhold your blessing. Lizzy is radiant with love. For that matter so is Darcy." He laughed as Darcy stood, utterly enthralled by his niece. "Even if you deny her, you will find you have lost her anyway. Her heart belongs to someone else now. She belongs with him.

Mr. Bennet knew he was oblivious to various and sundry things in this life, often deliberately so. To profess to be so in this matter would not do. _We do not raise our daughters for them to remain home._ He reminded himself he did would not really have refused Mr. Darcy. Indeed, he was the kind of man to whom he should never dare refuse anything. And it seemed Elizabeth was resolved on having him. To consent to and bless their union would allow him to retain a place in her heart. There would be letters and holidays and visits and grandchildren. He would miss his Elizabeth, but grandchildren sounded quite nice.

"Lizzy," he tried in vain to recapture his daughter's attention as it seemed she and Mr. Darcy forgot others were present, so focused on each other were they. "Elizabeth, child, your mother will be overjoyed to move into Pemberley with you. After all, a new bride needs her mother near." He waited for his tease to sink in.

"What?" she exclaimed with just a hint of panic in her voice. Darcy wisely spoke not a word.

"I thought that might do it," he said as Mr. Gardiner chuckled with him. "I simply wished for your attention so I may I grant my permission for you to marry."

"Papa, thank you." Elizabeth rushed to hug her father.

"Do we have your blessing as well?" Darcy asked. He would marry Elizabeth without it, but he knew it to be her greatest wish.

"You do. We shall have much to discuss. I look forward to getting to know you better Mr. Darcy. Now that my humor is up, what say you that we contrive a tease for Mr. Bingley. I anticipate a visit from him as well. It would not do for him to have an easier time of it than you."

The gentlemen shook hands before venturing out of the library to inform the rest of the household of the news. After the initial shock quickly wore away, Mrs. Bennet's elation echoed throughout Longbourn. Mr. Bingley, inspired by his friend's success, found himself in Mr. Bennet's library not two weeks later. His petition to Mr. Bennet met with greater resistance than he anticipated. He hoped that did not bode ill for his relationship with his father-in-law.

* * *

The summer at Longbourn was full of activity. Jane and Elizabeth's double wedding required much planning. In addition, after the nuptials, Kitty and Lydia would travel with the Hursts and Miss Bingley as they returned to Brighton. Mrs. Bennet insisted her youngest daughters be outfitted in the best fashions to be found in Meryton. As Mr. Bingley introduced the scheme, he insisted on covering the costs. None but he and Darcy knew the funds came out of Caroline Bingley's allowance.

Caroline took the news of the Brighton houseguests with surprising composure. As such, Mrs. Hurst, ever the follower, did not put up much resistance. As for Hurst, he was rather entertained by the idea. He vowed to remain clear-headed so as to relish whatever spectacles might ensue.

The militia departed with little fanfare from the occupants of Longbourn. Fortunately, Georgiana Darcy never came face to face with George Wickham. The very fact that Darcy brought his dear sister anywhere in proximity to him instantly made Wickham suspicious once he learned of it. Further, learning of Darcy's engagement to Elizabeth Bennet took him by surprise. He was certain he had persuaded her of Darcy's selfishness and contempt for others. What had Darcy told her? How long would it take for all of Meryton to know his sins?

Convinced, now, as he was, that Darcy was playing with him, waiting to pounce, he became obsessed with trying to anticipate Darcy's actions. George Wickham became his own worst enemy. Paranoia, along with a hefty portion of drink, as well as lack of sleep, caused him to act erratically. His affability and appearance suffered. He no longer took care to hide his vices. The short-tempered and mean fellow Darcy knew him to be was now known by all. His indebtedness to Meryton's shopkeepers, his callousness to the ladies he once charmed, and the disrespect directed to his superiors made him most unwelcome. His time in the militia was not to be a long duration.

Darcy's offer to make good Wickham's debts did much to repair his character among the people of Meryton. His newly displayed patience and kindness also helped in this matter. He would never be as lively as Elizabeth or Bingley. However, his devotion to one of the community's brightest jewels added to their belief in his good sense.

The entire neighborhood learned of Elizabeth's confrontation with his Aunt Catherine. Her admirable poise in her own defense, and in besting the ill-mannered lady, persuaded them there was more to this relationship than they had previously allowed. That Darcy remained steadfast in his desire to wed against the opposition of his well-placed family reinforced this idea.

* * *

Sated from the feast at the wedding breakfast, breathless from the kisses they enjoyed as the carriage made its way toward London, Darcy and Elizabeth spoke of their favorite parts of their wedding day and reminisced about the events leading up to it. So much had happened since that April day in Hunsford. As they started to doze, Darcy kissed Elizabeth's temple and leaned down to whisper in his new wife's ear.

"Our first daughter will be named Charlotte."


End file.
